Why I Can't Hold In My Wee & Other Stories

Before I had kids I switched off to women moaning about their bodies falling to bits after babies. I mean, don't we all know that childbirth is a massive thing to put your body through? Obviously not by what I kept hearing but you can now include me in that list. Despite me thinking I knew it all, I was still surprised.....typical.

When you're growing a baby inside you it seems like every other person likes to 1. touch your bump 2. tell you about sleepless nights and 3. share their post-pregnancy body woes with you. The fathers tell you about lack of sleep. The mums talk about nipples, wobbly bits and the pain of childbirth (the latter in whispers). One tipsy mummy, on a well deserved night off at a family gathering, declared to me (6 months pregnant) the pain of childbirth is the 'closest you'll get to feeling like you're dying with actually dying'. Not only did she leave me speechless, in my case, she turned out to be wrong.


I switched off because like most I was under the illusion it won't happen to me exactly that way. I'm also the sort that cannot be bothered to panic until it actually happens. My biggest fears, excessive weight gain, extreme saggy breasts and piles haven't materialised (yet). I was overweight before pregnancy, lost 20lb with each one because of morning sickness then put it all back on again afterwards. No change there apart from it went back on in different places.

The biggest physical hangovers from pregnancy and childbirth I've experienced are a few lower back niggles, the fact I will never use 'regular' sized tampons again and I cannot hold in a wee. I used to have mind & body control to hold off a wee for hours but now, once the sound of running water or the general idea of 'flow' pops in my head, its game over, I need to dash for the loo. How utterly hilarious was it to find I had to confess to my eldest during her potty training that I wet my pants too. If I don't stay on top of my pelvic floor exercises I'm one shop away from adding Tena Lady in my online supermarket basket.

The moral of the story (you know there has to be one). There's a list of associated impacts post-natally, you may experience several, a few or none at all. And in my view, absolutely no point in second guessing what may happen to your body.

Why I Can't Hold In My Wee & Other Stories