New Life vs Old Life

Is motherhood a big fat goodbye to a wild and wonderful social life? Or does it open new pastures for self-fulfillment?

Having just seen a Facebook message from a pregnant friend who is 'missing her old life', a big smile cracks across my face as I identify with that emotion. I spent the first half of my pregnancy in a state of panic that things were never going to be same again. It's worth noting I suffered with awful morning sickness until week 17 of the pregnancy which didn't help my state of mind. Rationality went out of the window and my moods peaked and troughed like a perpetual rollercoaster.

Luckily, I had some extremely good friends who relentlessly reassured me that they would never treat me differently when I had a 'dependent'. Granted I was going to change, that was a fact. As we nervously accepted that fact (as we had no idea how the 'change' would manifest) we worked hard to reinforce our friendships and keep things in common. We arranged girlie trips to Las Vegas, obsessed about remaining glamorous investing in nice clothes and cosmetics plus continued to talk careers with the odd baby topic thrown in. These girls were and still are my lighthouse in the storm.

One of the most annoying aspects of pregnancy is the unsolicited advice. The most irritating nugget a good number of people offered me was 'life will never be the same again'. If I wasn't so tense and defensive about this subject area, I could and should have asked why and how life will change. I mistakenly assumed they meant that children are the 'ball and chain' of my future life and I won't ever have fun without them again. However, thinking about that statement a little more objectively, irritating it may be, it is true. What they failed to offer up in terms of experience is how life changes in a good way. Not because of all this 'children are a miracle' crap, in fact, no one has ever been able to explain that to me without sounding like a complete pod person. Mainly how you develop a set of soft skills you never knew you had, which you can apply to almost everything you try and achieve, as well as raising your child.

In my own case, for example, I am a planner and like to control many aspects of my life. What I've realised in the first 5 months of my child's life, is that it doesn't matter if you don't plan some things at all. That may seem alien to the more laid back personalities reading this but I functioned heavily on stacking up tasks and appointments on a daily basis. As I started to care for my child, I naturally relaxed into her rhythm i.e. doing what she feels like whenever she feels like it! My stress levels subsided and I naturally developed this sense of important vs. unimportant decisions to make at any point in time. By having a renewed focus on how I spend my time, I am well on my way to achieving quality results on day to day tasks. I haven't felt this confident about my abilities since I was a cocky teenager.

As my pregnancy progressed, I was forced to embrace a calmer social life. Again, this worried me. I realised I had many 'pub' friends who I suddenly didn't see for weeks on end, as I was tired and homebound. Amazingly, many of these friends made the effort to personally contact me and proactively arranged social gatherings rather than just 'showing up at the pub'. Our friendship was moving to new level and I started to engage with people intensely rather than flit around a room with a drink in my hand. Please don't get me wrong, this was my own personality flaw I was transforming. I'm not suggesting at all that parenthood makes everyone better friends or that there's anything wrong with superficial acquaintances, they are fun and serve their purpose.

These are just a couple of examples of how I can testify that my life has changed considerably without a glazed look in my eye blabbering on about my daughter's smile (which is gorgeous by the way). Of course, this is not the quick answer to the polite question of 'how are you finding motherhood?'. If I did respond with this level of detail they would be the ones with the glazed look in their eyes.

To answer my opening musings, I don't feel I have seen the back of the wonderful social life. Wild it may not be, in comparison to the way I conducted myself in the past and I suppose right there is the key point. I was most likely ready for this change after all, despite my panic. Whichever way you look at it, this type of life change is not for everyone but I hope I have illustrated here that it's not all kids bedtimes and washing up. For me, it's as exciting and fresh as being a teenager all over again!

New Life vs Old Life

Shameless Self Marketing

Now that Contented Mummy has established her ideals and is working hard on her philosophy, I've embarked on a programme of marketing the 'good news'. So I apologise for this break in juicy articles for an update on Contented Mummy world.

I created a new Facebook group, open to all. This is to get momentum going on attracting new readers. I know there's lots of parents, newbies and more experienced, who have valuable experiences to share, so I will canvass for articles too. I would like to faciliate that to make this blog 'parent to parent' support and information. Search in Facebook under: Contented Mummy.

As per the previous article, I'm on Twitter and trying desperately to hunt down tech savvy parents in the UK. I've created a group using Tweetworks, so if you're interested in Twittering in a more refined way, look us up on there: contentedmummy
As yet, I haven't worked out how to use Tweetworks with my iPhone, so updates are going to be slow at first. I will keep you posted.

Finally, I'm in the process of writing a brief so my clever mother can design a logo for Contented Mummy. Any of your who know me from work, know that I love logos for everything.

Anyone with any other ideas for making this a valuable forum can contact me on:
claritadeb73@yahoo.co.uk

Shameless Self Marketing

I Wasn't Joking About the South Terminal Queue

This is a picture from Sunday, taken with my iPhone, when we arrived back in Blighty. Any of you familiar with Gatwick South Terminal will recognise this as one of the check-in areas. The queue for security wrapped around the corner, back towards the exit doors to the terminal. So, as you can see, I wasn't exaggerating about the queue. The hour-long wait I had was in a line half this size.

I will say that my partner didn't have the wait, when he flew mid-week at lunchtime but that is off-peak, so be prepared if you're making the trip.

I Wasn't Joking About the South Terminal Queue

Twitter Mummy

Twitter is the evolution of the Facebook status. It's mum's answer to staying in touch with the world around. It's like creating your own customised news headlines of all the things are important to you. Whether you want to stalk celebrities, get BBC news, local events or a quote for the day I truly feel there's something for everyone.

Yes there are views that on-line socialising is having a detrimental effect on person to person interraction (source: BBC news article on-line 20/02/09). This may be true in some cases but we shouldn't forget the number of people who aren't socially included in society and on-line social media has enabled like minded people to communicate without fear of prejudice or judgement.

Then there's the Busy People. Those who hot whatever reason are living life at warp speed, cramming in as much in as possible. Twitter is an excellent way of filtering out irrelevant information and channeling what's important. For example, I dropped my subscription to the NME music mag as I never had the patience to sit and read from cover to cover. Now I am following theIr tweets I can read the news that interests me. I feel more in touch with my preferred media than ever.

These are just a few of the benefits I can see. Ignore those who look down their noses at it. I remember people saying the same things about e-mail and now it's a staple in most homes and work places. When I get back in front of the PC I'll attempt to set up a Contented Mum group. In the meantime follow me at: claritadeb

That's me twittering off for now. Keep doing things your way, the contented mum way.

Twitter Mummy

Child Free Weddings

There's always such a fuss about children at weddings. In these times, it seems to be the trend to not invite children to weddings. The principle reason tends to be guest numbers and how hotels charge and cater for kids. Depending on how many of your nearest and dearest have small children this can be very expensive. Some venues charge obscene prices for children over 5 plus the cut off price for the adult rate kicks in as young as 10 years of age. Whether numbers are tight due to budget or tough choices on guest priority, the question of children attending is not easy.

A blanket decision of all kids or no kids is most likely the easiest way. Annoyingly there will always be some who forget whose day it is and take exception to the decision (whatever it is). Usually, parents have several options and adequate time to prepare themselves.

Leaving young babies is always going to be hard, especially for breastfeeding mothers. Luckily, our daughter is nearly five months, so leaving her today wasn't too difficult. We're away from home but with family, so had plenty of old family friends queuing up to care for her. I packed a bag full of equipment, feed, spare clothes and a 'what to do' guide. We are a virtually routine-free family, which makes things easier to explain to babysitters. Writing down some helpful notes became 'instructions for my child'. I didn't want to sound like control freak mummy but wanted to ensure they were prepared for all eventualities. I say 'virtually' routine free as i realised on writing the notes she has her own little pattern of sleeping and feeding. For all your concerns you have to remember a key thing; we figured it out all by ourselves so our chosen carers who have done it with their own kids will cope just as well. They even figured out how to work the buggy!

For the first thirty minutes after she left the house, I felt like a spare part. That nagging feeling I should be checking on her or washing something. Then I made a concious effort to put her out of my mind and focus on the day. It was glorious! I had adult conversations that weren't centered around motherhood, fussed over other people who needed help and weren't under 1 years if age! I put a lot of effort into not becoming a baby bore.

The wedding didn't lack anything either by not having children there. Some people feel that weddings are family occasions and should include all. Fair point, but I also saw many parents and grandparents engaging with each other intently as they didn't have one eye on their offspring. I began to realise that new memories were being made, friendships reinforced as people were able to truly listen to one another. This is important too, for without this support network I know I wouldn't cope so easily being a mother.

As it approached the time to go and collect her, I was torn. I didn't have to go, I could have stayed. Deep down I wanted to see her, I think because it was the first time we had left her for so long with anyone. I never wanted to be one of those parents whose social life revolved around their kids and I hardly ever leave a party early. It felt odd, such an anti-climax. Until I walked in the door of our friends house and was greeted by a big beaming smile from my daughter. She had been a delight, so much so, our friends didn't want to let her go. What a compliment to my daughter and reassuring experience for us.

Now I can't wait for the next time. I'm of the view that the few hours without my baby helped me clear my mind and relax. At 5 months it feels like the right time for her to spend more time alone with family or friends.

I reckon I'm not the only parent who feels this way either. So provided childcare isn't a logistical issue, child free weddings can be hassle free and contented parent friendly.

Child Free Weddings

Contented Mum's Enlightenment

You may have noticed (or not) the lack of articles yesterday. Contented mum had a day off and spent it with family and friends, away from home. My daughter is luckier than she'll ever know as she has numerous Aunties and Uncles plus both sets if Grandparents.

The first day in a new environment was slightly unsettling for her. There are opinions that babies feed off the mother's moods so it's likely she sensed that I was out of my usual habitat. That is no way a slight on my hosts, they've made their home as comfortable as can be. Whichever way you look at it, I'm away from home and needed to adjust. It wasn't any surprise that my daughter was slightly clingy for the first few days.

In terms of responsibility, continuously having to channel your moods, is awesome. That is one of the many aspects of parenting where you are putting your needs before theirs i.e. there's no real scope for you 'not to be in the mood' at any given time. This is not to he confused with being over sensitive to her needs which I have also done. I've spent hours and hours analysing her behaviour to try and see if I could have done anything different. I've since realised that can be a complete waste of time and counter productive as it increases my stress levels.

So it boils down to where to strike the balance? Which again, thinking about excessively can be rather confusing. I have found taking each day at a time has worked for me. It's completely against my nature being a planner and a control freak. The amazing thing is that is why motherhood had been good for my health. I've learned to only worry about things that truly matter plus understand how to be more relaxed when weighing up the consequences of my actions.

That was something I never imagined to happen. I was so preoccupied with maintaining my previous identity I never considered how much of a better person being a mother has made me feel. Don't get me wrong, I'm not in any way suggesting you need to become a parent to realize this. It was something that happened to me personally. Many people achieve this level of enlightenment through other, less drastic means.

I will probably need to revisit this blog when I go back to work. It's one thing to take things day by day while I'm off full time but throw work into the mix and it will be back to the drawing board. Lucky baby, dad and I have the support network of the family less challenging.

Contented mum over and out.

Contented Mum's Enlightenment

Contented mum = contented baby

Watch my blog for tried and tested, contented mum approved product reviews. Contented mum is cash tight and time poor so we need a no fuss, un-biased pointer in the right direction. I'll be trying to recruit mum's from my Brighton circle to contribute too, sharing any good news we have on purchases that we would not be without.

I thought I would get the ball rolling with my newborn survival pack. Not for baby, for mum! This is personal list, you should be aware that some sources reccommend not using too many cosmetics while breastfeeding.

1. I was tired of looking tired! So I relied on my cover up for correcting my bags. I didn't want to look in the mirror and 'see' how I felt! My tried and tested products are: Rimmel Hide the Blemish £3.91 and Benefit Boing! £15.50. I have used both of these for years depending on my cashflow at the time.

2. I found breastfeeding dried my skin and hair if I didn't drink enough fluids. This takes real resolve. Tell your partner, friends and family so they look after you but force yourself to drink loads. I aimed for my 8 glasses of water a day but complimented that with drinking peppermint or fennel tea a couple of times a day. The Foods Standards Agency reccommends 1.2 litres of water a day.

For a pampering treat I also used Body Shop Aloe Soothing Day Cream £8.80 or Original Perfect World moisturizer £28.38. For my hair, I struggled to find anything that worked magic but ended up using baby shampoo. If i have to glam up I cheat with a serum, Paul Mitchell Gloss Drops is my winner but if you have fine hair ask your hairdresser.

3. Fragrance free facial wipes. What did we do before wipes? Choose the best for your skin type. I adored Boots Fragrance Free £2.44 (in the blue pack). For the environmentally concious I also used quality face cloths and either hand hot water and nothing. All equally refreshing and cleansing.

4. Bathtime - nothing beats a bath for relaxation personally. As I had stitches to care for I put a few drops of Botanics Aromatherapy Tea Tree Oil £3.91 in the bath (any more than a few can smart a bit). After 6 weeks I alternated that with Botanics Lavender Oil, perfect for winding down. Both of these are meant to be diluted down with a base oil such as Almond or Botanics Time for Bed, Bath and Body Massage Oil.

5. Time busting nails. I had almost no time for nail care and polish isn't always practical with a baby. If I wanted to scrub up for an outing, I cleaned, cut and tidied up cuticles as a 'me-time' activity in front of the TV. I used a base and top coat to cheat a tidy look. Nails Inc. is my saviour they do a range of good products. Rimmels 60 Seconds is amazing but I've found will chip after a few days so I remove it before it gets tatty.

6. Gadget pals. My iPhone has been my portable friend. They've given me communication freedom to keep in touch with my support network. I would highly reccommend getting the most out of whatever mobile package your on, shop around, use whatever leverage you can to strike a bargain.
Other gadget pals include my electric toothbrush, V+ box and Facebook!

7. Waterproof mascara. On Pyjama mummy days I didn't want to wear any make-up. If I wanted to use a minimum to give a little glow I slapped on moisturizer, cover up, bronzing powder or light blusher on cheek apples, waterproof mascara and lip balm. My old faithful's are: Maybelline Great Lash Mascara £4.88, MAC bronzer £14.68 or Powderblush £14.68, Vaseline Lip Therapy £0.99.

As you can imagine I was a very contented mum with this arsenal of equipment and treats.

If you are a contented mum and want to share details of an item you wouldn't be without contact me: claritadeb73@yahoo.co.uk

Contented mum = contented baby

Contented Baby = Contented Mum

Now that darling daughter is approaching the 5 month mark she is a lot more aware of her surroundings.

This is an absolute joy, her smiling at things you do rather than just reciprocating your smiles. I've even caught her making herself laugh by pulling blankets over her head.

However there are drawbacks to the new awareness. When you leave the room there's a significant higher pitch scream which she turns up the volume on if she doesn't get a response. She's definately getting to know what makes mummy and daddy take notice.

The daytime sleep is my latest challenge. If we get it right and she has 1-2 hours early in the day she is contented baby all day long. When she decides to play the game of 'not going off whatever you try' it's not a content time for anyone.

So far I have tried:
- feeding and letting her fall asleep on the boob. Apparently not reccommended but desperation is a strong factor in decision making.
- vibrating chairs. Worked everytime when she was younger but now it doesn't seem to impact her all that much.
- walking her around and singing. She seems to think that is some sort of playtime. However it works when my dad does it.
- leaving her to cry. Usually the hardest but most effective. There are always times when she digs in her heels though.
- trip out in buggy/ car. Never fails my daughter but not always a guarantee for all babies.

What I can say is success in this area brings a big bounty of joy and accomplishment.

What methods have you tried? Nice to know you're not alone? All feedback gratefully recieved @ claritadeb73@yahoo.co.uk

That's all for now from contented mum, glass in hand, doing it her way.

Contented Baby = Contented Mum

How I Nearly Missed The Plane

After being super organised I made one vital error. It's half term and I didn't get there early enough. In addition, Gatwick are making renovations to the security area which was not mentioned in their website.

I checked in online so I needed to do was go to the bag drop. Queue there. I still had an hour so considered I had plenty of time but went directly to go through security anyway. The queue for security check was huge. The last time I saw queues that long was immediately post 9/11. However, I merrily joined the queue thinking it would move fast. Wrong again.

Thirty minutes before the flight I reach the boarding pass check. The lady at the desk happily told me not long to wait, five minutes or more. Wrong once more. At this stage I'm frantically listening out for a call to the gate. Nothing. Men walkiing around with clipboards calling out flights to be rushed through were out of earshot. I tried explaining to security hoping for a little help but they curtly told me to complete the security check and nothing more.

One security personnel decided this was a good time to tell me to get to the airport earlier. You can imagine how that sentiment was greeted! I argued with her while walking off to get the plane. I rushed down to the gate. Luckily I knew where it was without looking because I had flown many times before.

At the gate they were waiting for me. They had been calling me. To be honest the announcement could have been out while I was going through security and I didn't hear due to the number of items I had to load and unload into the x-ray machine. Thank god my darling daughter was asleep by now. Another lady decided to chastise me for being late. I lost it, burst into tears. This made things worse. I suddenly couldn't think straight and had four women bundling me onto the plane carrying my stuff. As we walked down to the plane I explained what had happened. She couldn't believe that my bags were checked in an hour ago and I only just got through. I explained my hour long wait, how I listened out for my flight and my name being called. She seemed a little more sympathetic by then. I was paraded onto the plane to my seat. Hopefully the sight if me in tears holding a four month old made the passengers less critical. I slumped into my chair and sobbed. The flight attendants were nice enough while getting us buckled in.

I am willing to admit that I should have been there 30 minutes earlier. However the lack of empathy for a woman travelling alone with her baby was shocking. Moreover that it was women who decided to 'tell me off' while rushing to make the plane. I think they must just group 'irresponsible passengers' in their heads and treat them all the same.

BAA will be hearing from me. I think I will also tweet Sir Richard Brandon begging him to buy Gatwick and bring the Virgin service ethos with him.

Right now, i'm back to being contented mummy (and baby couldn't be happier either). After a lovely Sunday roast and glass of wine I snuggled down in a lovely warm bed.

That's all for now from contented mum, still doing it her way (despite BAA).

How I Nearly Missed The Plane

Leaving On A Jet Plane

Today, I'm off to gorgeous Northern Ireland to stay with family for a week. I'm flying with my daughter for the first time, so naturally a little apprehensive. Although I'm an experienced flyer, travelling with a four month old is bound to be intense on the organisational front, especially as my partner won't be with me. So I've been researching the net for some good tips. I have found the following sites useful:

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/travel/travellingwithanewborn/

This website in general has been a huge help in finding great parenting help. The link above is to an article which is short and to the point, some very good tips there. The website als features a printable packing list, which seem pretty common sense but I suppose they could help if you're not an experienced flyer or have more than one child to care for (or maybe the list is for dads).

http://www.gatwickairport.com

Naturally I thought I would check the airport I am flying from. I wanted to be clear on the security guidelines. Going through security is stressful enough these days, so I wanted to prepare myself as much as possible. So I checked the sections on security and hand baggage allowance. Also, I noticed you could book a family lounge for £18.50 (per adult and per child over 2). The facilities include drinks (including alcohol!), snacks for adults and kids plus an extensive range of activities for the little ones; soft play areas, DVD's, computer games. Sounds good but I can't help feel it's another example of companies 'cashing in' on poor parents. Why doesn't the airport provide some of these facilities for children and babies anyway? If they do, I couldn't find any reference to it on the web.

http://www.bounty.com/travel/holidays/flying-with-kids.aspx

Bounty have a travel section but not very extensive. The section on 'flying' says nothing about how to organise yourself at the airport and through security. Also the travel section of the website had no obvious hyperlink or button, I had to do a site search. Not very mummy friendly.

My travel plans so far are, driving to Gatwick and parking at my grandmother's who lives in Horley. I found a cab firm who will look after your childseat free of charge until you return. They are a reputable firm who we use every time we travel: Carline 01293 430 430. I phoned to ask whether they had car seats and there's no legal obligation for a baby to sit in one in a licensed taxi. You can imagine my surprise at that and thank god they offer this service.

At the airport, I have the Silvercross Pop as my companion. It's light and easy to fold, so very practical. There's also a drinks holder on the handle (contented mummy approves highly of that feature). I also have a changing bag that goes over the shoulder filled with plenty of supplies (more than I need in case of delay) including a change of clothes for baby. I also know of mum's travelling alone who have used their sling through security and onto the plane which great success.

We're leaving the house in just over an hour, so let's see how the above works out. I'll post again when the whole experience is over.

Leaving On A Jet Plane

Contented Mum Over Lunch

Sitting with my sister over a nice veggie lunch at Waikikamookau (child friendly to a degree) we talked about the merits of the contented mum philosophy. She made one very valid point. As I find more and more parents have always done it or are doing it 'their' sharing the experience is so important. Not only to validate what we are doing but to reinforce our parental confidence. You tend not to feel so alone when you find like minded people who have had the same problems or trying the same things with their kids.

That conversation in itself reinforced my confidence to write this blog. When I looked back at all the tips and tricks that helped me cope they are from a mixture if several sources. For example, Gina Ford's book taught me about routines and babies needs in terms of sleep and feeding. However I've thrown in some baby led techniques too by letting my daughter sleep through the night. I've used tips from my mother's health visitor from 1973 that are working perfectly.

All in all reading different material and talking to a variety of people can equip you with your options. It is important to understand any risks of these choices. When you do, you and your baby can then decide what's best.

Contented mummy doing it my way.

Contented Mum Over Lunch

Valentines: What's in a Day?

It's Valentine's Day (yawn). I'm sure by now many mummies have been showered with gifts and breakfast in bed? No? Me neither. However corny you think this day is though, we have used it in our house as an excuse to spend some quality time together.

Today is 'Daddy and Daughter' day which means he has taken her out for a walk so I can sit and write this. (laughs hysterically). Of course that's a BIG pile of rubbish. I'm squeezing blogging in between packing for Ireland trip to see the in-laws and cooking a three course meal 'of the heart' for Valentines day.

On a more serious note, having a day like Valentine's has been important for us. We are so busy with work, baby and having social time with friends and family, we can forget to schedule in quality couple time. With the television constantly on in the background, conversations get lost to news discussion or Masterchef and we drift on never really communicating.

Anecdotally, I have heard this happening to other couples when they have their first child. You are doing activities together because of the baby and that is great fun so you don't feel like you are drifting apart in an obvious way. However, I have found that during our alone time as a couple, we have more intense discussions and therefore get to know each other a little bit more. For me, that is vital. Becoming a parent is a huge change in life and that quality of discussion means I can share how I feel about all of that. It has even had an impact on our daily routine because we understand each other that little bit better.

So while some people are most likely boycotting today (and I'm sure for good reasons of their own) I am actually going to raise a nice glass of Cotes du Rhone.

Cheers!

Contented Mummy, Doing it My Way

Valentines: What's in a Day?

I'm mobile!

Blimey. I can't keep up with the technological possibilities for glorified soap boxes! But yes, you've guessed it, I love it!!!!

I'm updating this from my iPhone so there's no excuse for lack of daily diatribes. I'll be seeing you! :-)

C x

Contented mummy doing it my way

I'm mobile!

Pyjama Mummy

Some weeks I get obsessed with doing my hair and make-up for the smallest of trips. Some weeks all I want to do is sit around in my pyjamas. I think they call the latter slummy mummy.

As usual women always get the raw end of the deal with the media it-phrases. Unfortunately the teams of gossip mags and daily sleaze rags would have us believe that celebrity mums are our role models except when they being slummy mummies. I choose not become part of the debate about the media mums. My role models are the women who have impacted my life directly. However, I can't help wanting to be one of those women who can do it all. Look beautiful, go to work, be an epicurean genius and spend quality time raising my child. Is it the media who has set the bar for this or me?

I'm proactively pushing myself away from the stereotypes. Can you tell? (cynically laughs) Sometimes, I'll admit, to spite myself. I've had weeks where I've over-committed and burned out (haven't we all at some point though?). However, I know that if I wasn't off doing some other projects, other than 'baby' then I would spiral down to level where I would be constantly seeking validation and frustrated when I don't get it.

I remember the first weeks after the birth of my daughter, people expected me to look haggard and worn out. Truth is, I was plastering on make-up to make sure I didn't scare myself when I looked in the mirror. The even deeper truth is my acute personal grooming in the vain attempt to be glamorous is my 'me-time' activity of choice. I also remember my mother spending time on her appearance every day. I used to watch her get ready and in some way it was our time together. History repeating itself, I believe.

So, once again when my mind works overtime, pondering my options back and forth until I hypnotise my subconcious I slap myself round the face. Do what you want to do Clarita! If you want to practice your latest smokey eye look, daddy can have baby. If you want to spend the afternoon downloading tunes, call on granny. While baby naps, I Wii Fit - Wiin, Wiin situation.

That is why I've replaced 'slummy' with 'pyjama' mummy. I may not be the first to say it, but I'm claiming it here on my blog. I'm having half a pyjama mummy day tomorrow, so it doesn't really count as slouchy but I will do my best in those hours.

That's all for today and don't forget to say, 'I did it my way'

Pyjama Mummy

I Did It My Way

This blog is dedicated to all those awful 'guide for mums' that tell you what to expect during pregnancy and being a parent. I read them all and more, completely obsessed over what's best to do for my baby for weeks. I was in danger of not actually enjoying the experience to the max.

Most sensible, worldly wise people who have a bank account, mortgage and pay their own bills on time every month already juggle responsibility. So why does parenting have to be a 'massive explosion' on the pattern on their lives. Of course its amazing, emotionally nothing comes close. However, disruptive? frustrating? of course not. When you're doing it all out of love, every moment becomes one to savour. The nappy disasters, the regurgitated feeds, the incessant crying; they all roll together with the stomach flipping happy moments into one mind-blowing experience.

My firm belief is for parents to believe in themselves more. When I speak to most of the parents I know, they are all using a combination of methods for parenting. Following the baby's needs but at the same time balancing their own. Slowly I can see this faction of parents growing in voice but more action is needed. I'm adding my voice!! Ta-da.

This is dedicated to all those who have felt guilty for putting themselves before baby for the tiniest of moments. For those who have let the baby cry a little while longer in order to finish putting on their make-up or to update their Facebook status. I raise a glass of wine to you and hope you enjoy the account of my escapades, rambling mummy brain thoughts mixed in with some tips (if you are brave enough).

I Did It My Way